There's a level of openness that used to be a part of me when I was younger. The whole park ranger gig, tour guiding through ancient cliff edge homes at Mesa Verde National Park, was a really great way to have a giving nature. I constantly found ways to give of my gifts of storytelling, kindness and creativity. These days, I find myself seeking to be more generous and open to Life. The Giving Spirit is returned; it's what I choose to be about.
There is an analogy I've heard used for spiritual growth of a person: Imagine a spiral staircase. When a new soul incarnates, they have to start from the ground floor. They begin the climb of Spirit incarnating and simply going through lessons and life. As we grow we continue to climb the stairs, eventually returning to the same side of the stairs but one flight up. The lessons in that spot are a mix of the old lesson on that step and an elevated degree of the original lesson. A new degree creates a new lesson, each building on the last and creating momentum.
I feel that the lesson I'm in has been taught me many times before. Learning to give of Who and What I Am is the true purpose of the lesson, and perhaps to do it more authentically seems like a big start.
Open up and give authentically. Some people look around the world and see what's on the news. They focus on it, they expect it and it becomes what they see.
Upon reflection, I realize that I have withdrawn, not allowed my personality free. This is my resolve: I've got to be set free.I am more valuable than that. What do I mean by this? I have been withdrawing into my fear. I apparently have been afraid of life here in Sioux Falls, in the world outside of a nature camp or a national park, or a job in which nobody is expected to contribute greatly. Or, to put it another way, if I am in a job that I can sleepwalk through, then that's what I do and nobody bats an eye at me, the way I'm performing.
There's nothing being risked, and if it is, the risking is backed by something which balances the risk with safe feeling, not trying too hard, not putting myself out there.
Now I have an opportunity to put myself out there. Each day, we have the opportunity to put ourselves out there. I do, you do, we all have choices. They may seem really small, but we all have those chances. They are also known as choices.
As an example, I will use my writing. I recognize now what has kept me from writing much in a long time: I am feeling not confident about what I am writing and whether someone will agree that what I am writing makes sense and is a good point.
The internal worry is always really only and ever about me. I am essentially being selfish by not putting my creative talents out there. It's a worry about me, instead of a caring about someone else. This makes so much sense.
I would venture to say this is a result of the belief in comfort as something for which to strive. The idea that we need to be comfortable is a key issue with this world in which I live. Please don't get me wrong, I like comfortable things, but when it comes to life and people and the opportunity to share something of my self in order to improve the world of others, I must acknowledge discomfort is the way to go.
And what would I say if someone told me: "Get uncomfortable with everything in your life."? I would argue, perhaps from the soft part of me, that there's nothing wrong with having a level of comfort. It's not about complete comfort or not. It's about risking looking the fool to help break down the walls of society.
Walls are splitting, dividing, and separating devices. We don't need no education, if that's what we are being taught. Each day, I want to do something, perhaps many things, which bring a smile, some joy and perhaps a sense of hope to someone I meet.
It's time to step back into the world with that mindset, every day, to do what I can to bring value to a life through what I have to offer. Not every person is going to want what I have. That's okay. But, I will continue to grow and offer what I have to give.
That is my promise to Me and You.