Some art, some thoughts

I had a set of thoughts that were going to go with this blog, but then I got a call from a computer asking me to hold for the next available operator! Thankfully the operator was a human, though she may have wondered about me! I was grumpy and then some. It was the bank asking me to make a car payment. The silly bank sent my payment booklet to my old address for some reason. The reason this late payment issue and other things like this are happening to me has much to do with my own feeling around money, banks, and my own income.

There's fear in me regarding money that has kept me in fear for most of my adult life. I fear trouble from people to whom I owe money. Jail. Further debt. I fear they will lump me into a group of people that I have a judgment about. I judge people who have bad credit. I judge them because I fear them, or I fear them because they represent something in me that I wish not to see. Human frailty, dirt, having to scrap. Obviously, I would have you believe that I am above that. It's part of my attempted facade.

Odds are that you or one of your fellow readers has bad credit, or has had. Please understand that any judgement I have is about me. I place it here as I do a photo of a painting - for observation, for greater understanding, and my own laughter and joy in being human.