The Visitor
"Okay, Ranger, we have 30 minutes to spend. What can we do?"
"Is that 30 minutes including the time it takes to get down the hill, to the gate?"
"Yes."
"Which direction are you headed?"
"We're going to Cortez."
"Okay, you're in luck. Out of the parking area here at the Visitor Center, go right and take the first right turn. If you end up in the same spot you were, that means you turned back into the parking area. Please go around the parking area, turn right at the stop, then turn right again, but not at the first driveway, but the road just after."
"Okay, then what?"
"Drive really fast. Take the most direct route to the valley by ramping over the north escarpment and heading directly down the hill. With any luck, on your flight you'll see some wild life, perhaps an eagle. If it's flying above you when you wake up on the slope, it's a turkey vulture. Congratulations. You've survived your first solo flight. You may also see angels. Do not be concerned, you'll notice them clearly. They'll be the ones chuckling and singing the really great religious songs. If you look closely as you rise above them, the turkey vultures will be noting the spot of your crash and your soon-to-be-rotting flesh. When this happens, do not panic. Please move forward through the tunnel and proceed toward the bright light. Look for the nearest pearly gates on the other side."
"This will conclude your experience. If you'd like to fill out a comment card, now would be a good time. Enjoy the rest of your stay here in sunny Colorado. Next!"
"Is that 30 minutes including the time it takes to get down the hill, to the gate?"
"Yes."
"Which direction are you headed?"
"We're going to Cortez."
"Okay, you're in luck. Out of the parking area here at the Visitor Center, go right and take the first right turn. If you end up in the same spot you were, that means you turned back into the parking area. Please go around the parking area, turn right at the stop, then turn right again, but not at the first driveway, but the road just after."
"Okay, then what?"
"Drive really fast. Take the most direct route to the valley by ramping over the north escarpment and heading directly down the hill. With any luck, on your flight you'll see some wild life, perhaps an eagle. If it's flying above you when you wake up on the slope, it's a turkey vulture. Congratulations. You've survived your first solo flight. You may also see angels. Do not be concerned, you'll notice them clearly. They'll be the ones chuckling and singing the really great religious songs. If you look closely as you rise above them, the turkey vultures will be noting the spot of your crash and your soon-to-be-rotting flesh. When this happens, do not panic. Please move forward through the tunnel and proceed toward the bright light. Look for the nearest pearly gates on the other side."
"This will conclude your experience. If you'd like to fill out a comment card, now would be a good time. Enjoy the rest of your stay here in sunny Colorado. Next!"
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