Eve of the Eve of Christmas

Home for Christmas with the Kortemeyers

So grateful am I to the One for this realization. I didn't believe in my self enough to say "I can have good and right things."

It has been a fun time this past few days. I've enjoyed myself, and my how time has flown. Molly and the cats and I all headed from Sioux Falls to Aberdeen, SD. We were in search of that "home for Christmas" feeling that comes when the journey is made, real or simulated, to find the comforts and joys of being a kid again for Christmas.

We achieved this aim on Saturday, the last before Christmas comes this year. We made it to Aberdeen and were able to enjoy family time, time relaxing and the anticipation of love realized again in their company. And there's still more to come. But it was hard leaving Aberdeen today. It was hard to come back to Sioux Falls. And that's when it happened.

Molly and I were together on the couch, watching a favorite show of ours. As it turned out Molly was sleeping out the end of an episode that I had continued to watch. When it was over, I had managed to find myself sleepy as well. I leaned over, found myself tucked in beside Molly, and went to sleep, with Wentworth the boy cat joining us on the couch, in the snooze as well.

When I woke, it was clear to me that all was well and that my life felt very good to me. And a realization came to me then and there. My unhappiness in life had come as a result of a belief that I should not have good things in my life, because it would mean I wasn't putting God first. I believed further that having good things is what leads to loss and pain and that the solution was to not have good things that I could lose, especially not to really love those things which would hurt the most in the losing.

There's so much more to say on this matter, but for now, trust me in my knowing that Life is supposed to be good. It's not always. Trust me in that as well. But it's not the experiencing of good or having of it that is the cause of the "bad." If things didn't hurt, I would not know or realize the depth of the Goodness and Love in my life. That had gotten lost and now it has returned, home for Christmas, a brilliant gift.