Feelings, Nothing More Than....

Wentworth, a great teacher of relaxation.

I've expected Happy. I've expected to not feel bad. Ever. And if I did, I would judge it. Feeling frustrated was bad. That's what the thinking said. How did I get that stuck in my head? Don't know for sure, but it's a pretty typical message to get from church and religion and parents immersed in this, who were raised by parents immersed in it. It's not a blame game. It's a reality that we pick things like this up unconsciously. We can believe or not, but it takes fortitude to withstand this.

If I'm doing everything correctly, the belief goes, I'm always going to be happy. And if I get mad, then something bad has happened, and I've done something wrong. If Mom or Dad, or anyone else I give power over me, is mad at me, then I've done something bad. It's a very primal belief. If they are mad, I am bad. If they are happy, I am good. This has been with me for a long time, longer than just this lifetime, I feel.

By extension of these deep seated beliefs, I've judged myself this way, too. If I get mad, it's bad.  I then judge the feeling based off of my feeling, not a behavior. I've made the feeling, the emotion, bad. Frustrated, instead of just a feeling, becomes a bad thing to feel in this way of thinking.